My
Communication
Communication can be defined in many
different ways by many different people.
Trenholm (2011) writes of Frank Dance who in the ’70’s “…identified 126
published definitions” (pp. 17).
Personally, I would define communication as the interaction between individuals
that transmits information both consciously and unconsciously. I truly believe that communication is an
essential function of our day-to-day lives.
Throughout this course, communication theory, I have been given the
opportunity to take a look into my reasons for studying communication, review
both my skills and weaknesses in communication, whether it be interpersonal,
group, or organizational, as well as address the skills needed in order to
maintain and enjoy healthy and functional relationships with people that I
encounter in life.
Initially, I chose to pursue a
degree in communication because I saw its universal role. Communication is all around us in every
situation and in every interaction. I
understood that by obtaining a degree in communications that I could make the
necessary steps to gain knowledge of this interaction that happens all around
us. Understanding communication is
essential in building strong foundations in relationships as well as
establishing oneself as an important factor in any business.
Additionally, I realized that “…the
nature of our language affects the nature of our thought” (Trenholm, 2011, pp.
72), and with this knowledge, I wanted to be better able to understand
communication so that I could not only improve the interactions in my life, but
also improve the thoughts that occurred internally. I wanted to find a way to change my language,
to change my thought, and finally change my future. Through this course I have been able to
better understand just how true the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, the above
quotation, is. I have gradually adjusted
my speech and through this adjustment, I have found that my thoughts are more
positive. As a result of these changes,
I feel that I am becoming more successful in my daily activities and becoming an
employee and friend who is more deserving of appreciation.
Communication is not just about
speaking to one another. Communication
is more intricate than that. It is a
process in which people present their thoughts, listen to other’s ideas, work
to understand the meaning of messages presented, and then respond. The particular model that best fell in
alignment with my ideas of communication was the pragmatic model. Trenholm (2008) defines this model as “…a
system of interlocking, interdependent behaviors that become patterned over
time” (pp. 31). In order for any form of
communication to take place, there must be both a sender and a receiver. Interactions between both the sender and the
receiver are like a game. The sender
presents information, whether it is verbally or nonverbally, and the receiver
responds based upon their understanding of the message. The effectiveness of any communication is
based upon how well the receiver interprets the message. It is essential to work to understand one’s
receiver so that the message can be presented in a manner that is understood by
them.
My presentation of messages has not
always been effective. I have been selfish
in my thinking and I maintained that others should think as I do. The effort that I made to understand others
was weak. This course has helped me to
understand that the way in which people perceive my messages has nothing to do
with me. They have their own mindsets,
pasts, and beliefs that help to determine who they are. This determination plays an important role in
their understanding of the messages that I present to them. I have learned that I need to make better
efforts to go beyond my own ideas and beliefs and into an understanding of
others. Making the steps to understand
others will help improve the effectiveness of my communication with a multitude
of different individuals.
In addition to the weakness that I
found within my presentation of messages, I also realized that my listening
skills could use improvement. Trenholm
(2008) states, of listening, that “…we are not passive receivers but active
creators of meaning” (pp. 42).
Unfortunately, during the listening process I am not always actively
creating meaning. There are times that I
am, instead, awaiting my chance to speak and share my personal opinions. Trenholm (2008) also states that Americans
“…tend to believe that expressing [their] own ideas is more valuable than
attending to others’ messages” (pp. 43).
I have learned through this course
that it is important to value the messages that others attempt to share with
me. Through this understanding I have
been putting more effort into developing meaning from the information that is
presented to me by others. When I have
found that my mind is wandering into what I am going to say next, I am actively
going back to listening and understanding the things that are being said to me. I realize how valuable the messages are that
others are attempting to share with me and I am striving to understand them as
they were intended to be understood.
In regards to my intimate
relationship, I understand how necessary problem solving can be. Trenholm (2008) defines this as “…negotiating
until you come up with a new, creative solution that satisfies both parties”
(pp. 154). So, going beyond merely
compromising is necessary in order to successfully resolve problems within an
interpersonal relationship. Previously,
I felt that compromise was enough, even if it did leave “…both parties…somewhat
unsatisfied” (Trenholm, 2008, pp. 154).
Initially, I felt that this way of solving issues was adequate. I felt that resolution resulted in two
parties relinquishing some of their desires in order to find a common
ground. Though, I now realize that this
is not accurate or completely effective.
However, in order to resolve issues
in a relationship one must first build a relationship. Chapter 6 within our text deals with
interpersonal relationships and the different aspects within them. It reviews how they begin and dialects that
could possibly bring them to an end.
Within each relationship, as it develops, there is a level of
self-disclosure, information that we give to others about ourselves that they
are unlikely to discover on their own (Trenholm, (2008), pp. 150), which must
occur in order for the relationship to grow.
I have realized that I have not provided as much self-disclosure as is
necessary in order to establish and maintain relationships. I have hidden behind walls that I felt
protected me from being hurt when in actuality; they kept me from creating and
maintaining normal and healthy friendships as well as relationships.
Additionally, I have learned to
utilize the filtering theory, “…a series of filters used to judge how close to
others we want to become” (Trenholm, 2011, pp. 147), and better decide who is a
good fit for the life that I live. I can
utilize preinteraction as well as interaction cues to decide if communication
should continue. Through this course, I
am better able to understand that keeping my eyes open for these cues is an
important skill to develop so that I develop relationships with those that help
me to maintain meaningful and smooth communication.
Like interpersonal communication, it
is important to foster skills within group communication. Unfortunately, much of my life I have not
been an effective communicator at all. I
am outgoing, friendly, and loving, which, at first glance, might suggest that I
possess positive communication ability. However, I have also been selfish and
self-centered. As a result of these
negative characteristics, I would center communication and talk about
myself. This made group communication
difficult as I had no interest in maintaining a group, but only myself. I was disruptive to productivity, the group’s
clown, and generally a dysfunction within the group. I do believe that my lack of a “personal
bubble” or territorial issues did result in me being viewed as welcoming. I feel that this trait helped to give the
illusion of me being a better communicator than I actually was. Few seemed to notice the negative traits that
I began to notice in myself. This lack
of recognition of my negative characteristics seemed to help me maintain the
negative characteristics that I housed for so long.
Fortunately, I have noticed my
negative traits and begun working to become a better communicator. Now I am able to pull my focus to the group
as a whole and look at the goals that are set within the group. I am able to help keep others motivated and
offer suggestions that could be utilized to improve the group’s function. These behaviors fall under two different
roles, maintenance and task. Trenholm
(2011) states that being an encourager is a behavior that would fall under the
category of maintenance roles. When
people are down and unable to recognize their own contributions to the group as
a whole, I am the one that is there to help them recognize their
accomplishments. However, the fact that
I am an opinion seeker, energizer, and a contributor means that I also fall
under task roles (Trenholm, 2011, pp. 176).
I ask questions to ensure that the task I am doing maintains the group’s
values. Also, I keep the group motivated
and suggest new information that could benefit the group as a whole. I am now looking to utilize the
find-something-similar method in which members of a group solve problems by
thinking of situations that are similar to the one that they face (Trenholm,
2011, pp. 189). In the most common group
I associate with, 911 dispatchers, I work to think of similarities to
situations with them and ask questions of situations that could occur in order
to solve problems and become prepared for whatever I might face.
Additionally, family falls under the
category of a group. Within my family my
roles have adjusted with age. As a
child, I needed information from my parents so that I could understand the
world around me. I needed encouragement
so that I believed that I was able to succeed.
As I grow older, I am able to provide information and give encouragement
to those that previously provided it to me.
I have developed improved listening skills, realizing that I should no
longer consider myself the center of my parent’s world. I understand now that we are a unit and we
are now equal. I can listen and
understand the situations that they are dealing with in their lives and offer
encouragement and support, as they had done for me in my youth. I have become a very strong and effective
negotiator, as it relates to my father.
The skill could be a function of me being his little girl, but I prefer
to consider it a strength and sign of my personal skill.
Organizational communication does
not vary too much from that of group communication. This particular level of communication occurs
within an organization or, “…a large number of people working together in a
structured way to accomplish multiple goals” (Trenholm, 2011, pp. 199). In this particular area of communication, I
am working to improve upon my ability to adjust my speech based on the
individuals that I am communicating with.
Though it is easy to speak with individuals on different levels, I need
to ensure that I am addressing them professionally and appropriately to their
titles. I want to one day be viewed as
someone worthy of a management position.
Other skills that I have developed that
would help me look favorable for advancement in my career would be my high
level of customer service experience, leadership qualities, and my
multi-tasking abilities. I have years of
experience in the customer service field and I understand how important it is
to treat customers, both internal and external, with respect so that a business
can function effectively. I am also able
work with others and guide them through tasks that are difficult for them with
encouragement and understanding.
Finally, I am able to take multiple tasks and accomplish them
simultaneously. All of these traits are
important to improving my outlook in any career.
Throughout this course, I have
reinforced my desire to study communication.
This particular field is vital to our every day interactions and there
is very little way to avoid it. We
communicate in all aspects of our life making effective communication essential
to our success in every situation. I
have come to realize the flaws that I face in the interactions that I encounter
with others in interpersonal, group, and organizational communication. However, through this understanding I have
also been able to adjust and make changes so that these interactions can
improve and instead become positive.
Though I have a long way to go in becoming an effective communicator, I
now have the tools necessary to be successful in this quest.
References
Trenholm, S. (2008). Thinking Through Communication: An
Introduction to the Study of Human
Communication. Pearson: Boston
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